Enigma
by The Goliath Beetle
Summary: Kakashi is like a kaleidoscope. Jiraiya has seen his personality change, adapt and evolve many, many times. -Gen oneshot-


_Enigma _

* * *

When Jiraiya thought about it, he decided that Kakashi was like a kaleidoscope that changed patterns with every turn. He was the only ninja the Toad Sage knew who could alter his personality as quickly and as intensely as Kakashi could. With the change in the wind, Kakashi drifted and adapted, learning and unlearning what he'd been taught.

Like a kaleidoscope, Kakashi never influenced his basic colours—he just knew how to tweak things, using the same hues in different ways. All he needed was a turn of events.

* * *

"Your whelp is a mirror image of you, Sakumo. He's just a _baby _and it's obvious."

"Isn't he beautiful?" Sakumo asked, cradling his infant, all of twenty hours old.

"Uh-huh," Jiraiya commented, grinning. He glanced at the sleeping frame of Sakumo's wife. She was still very exhausted, obviously. It had been a difficult childbirth, an ordeal that had weakened her far more than considered normal. Still, the doctors were optimistic about her recovery. It would take longer than usual, but she would be fine.

Then, the Toad Sage looked back at his best friend. Personally, Jiraiya had never been too fond of children. They were loud and messy and _scary, _the biggest worry about having sex. The LAST thing he wanted was for one of those women to come up to him saying he was the father. Gosh, Jiraiya had nightmares about it.

But then, seeing Sakumo like this, so quietly happy, so protective, so _gentle _was a remarkable experience. Sakumo was always energetic and cheerful and the man laughed so much. It was different to just sit there in the hospital room with him, watching him look so at _peace. _

The child slowly awoke, gazing dazedly at The Big Wide World before him. His eyes were charcoal black, Jiraiya noted. Just like Sakumo's. This one really was going to resemble his father.

Except for the jaw, maybe. Sakumo had a wide, heavy-set jaw. The child seemed to have taken after his mother in that area, having inherited her far more delicate features. It wasn't obvious, and anyway, it was too soon to tell, but Jiraiya was sure he was right about this.

"He's waking up," the Toad Sage exclaimed, getting excited despite himself.

"Hi, my little scarecrow," Sakumo whispered tenderly.

Once more, Jiraiya found himself wondering why anyone would name their son _Kakashi. _It wasn't a bad name. It had a nice ring to it and it had a certain fluidity of pronunciation. But why _scarecrow? _

Kakashi looked at his father his eyes glazed with sleep before his face scrunched like a paper ball.

_Oh no, _Jiraiya thought before—

"_Whaaahhh!" _

For a moment, even Sakumo looked startled. The sound was so high-pitched and whiny and awful and _sudden. _The new father quickly stood up. "Shh, shh, shh, Kakashi, good boy, shh..."

"WHAAAAAAAH!"

"Make it stop!" Jiraiya cried, getting slightly panicky.

Sakumo gave his friend a terrified look before walking up and down the room. "Shh, 'Kashi, go back to sleep! Jiraiya, aren't you going to help me, goddamnit!"

"WHAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"I don't know what to—"

"Both of you shut up and give him to me."

"Oh, you're awake, how are you fee—"

"_**WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"**_

It was at that moment when Sakumo lost his nerve and gingerly handed the child to his wife. She gave both of them an exasperated look before rocking him gently. "Shh, darling, shh, there you go, that's a good boy." Then, she unbuttoned her blouse. "He's hungry."

Jiraiya stared. Sakumo hit him on back of his head. Jiraiya got the message and looked away.

The White Fang walked over to his new family and hugged his wife, careful to avoid hurting Kakashi. "I'll tell the nurse you're awake."

"Tell the nurse I'm hungry," she said with a laugh in her voice. Her skin was still abnormally pale, but she looked much better than she did before.

Sakumo grinned at her. "Will do, madame."

Madame. It was a joke between the two of them. Jiraiya hid a smirk and watched them for a moment. It was a sight to behold. Kakashi protectively held in his mother's arms, his mother protectively held in Sakumo's arms.

This was the moment Jiraiya would remember forever. Three days later, Kakashi lost his mother to infection. For the first time, the Hatake family was torn apart. Back then, they didn't know the worst was yet to come.

* * *

The kid was _weird._

Jiraiya was willing to bet that Hatake Kakashi was probably the only three year old in history with an identity crisis. He was a toddler, a toddler for god's sake. He was far too young to be reading scrolls on chakra manipulation, far too young to young to be planning strategies so well, and FAAAAAAAR to young to be throwing a kunai like a freaking genin prodigy.

"What the hell are you doing with him, Sakumo?" Jiraiya questioned, aghast, as he watched Kakashi throw not one, but _two _kunai knives simultaneously, both meeting their targets with almost no effort at all.

Sakumo shook his head in apparent defeat. "I got him a set of toy kunai knives, you know, the wooden ones they sell for children? He got bored with them and found my stash instead and I come back from a shower to find him throwing them at the tree in the yard."

"When was that?"

"I don't remember…a month ago, maybe?"

"So, what, you trained him?"

"Not initially. He kept wanting to know how he was doing. So I told him. And he's been obsessed with perfecting it ever since."

"Kami, Sakumo. You're giving a three year old _child_ knives."

"I know. But the kid's a natural, Jiraiya."

Well, _Kakashi _certainly thought so. He turned to look at his father then, and Jiraiya could see the smugness in his eyes. "How did I do, daddy?"

"That was excellent," Sakumo encouraged happily. "Come on, now. Lunch is on the table."

Kakashi grinned. There it was again. The arrogance. Jiraiya had seen it in so many shinobi. He shuddered at the thought that this cute little baby would grow up to become a killer. A cocky one at that. The Toad Sage shook his head. Kakashi was too young to be training like this. Too freaking young.

…But then…

"Daaaaaaaaaad," Kakashi whined.

"Kakashi, be quiet."

"But I don't _like _tomatoes."

"They're good for you."

"But they taste gross and they smell." Kakashi made a face and pushed his plate away. Jiraiya just about managed to turn his snicker into a cough.

"See? See? They're making Jiraiya-san cough, daddy."

Sakumo gave both of them a look of warning. It worked on Kakashi, but Jiraiya just burst out laughing.

* * *

The first time Jiraiya saw Kakashi wear a mask, he just stared. Stared, because he couldn't believe it. Stared, because this is what things had come to.

"'Kashi-kun?" he asked, his voice incredulous.

The boy looked at him for the first time. It was a very small reaction. A mere movement of the eyes. Dead black eyes.

"Why are you wearing a mask?"

The seven year old's expression did not waver. Even if it did, Jiraiya couldn't tell because of that damned piece of cloth over his face. This just wasn't right_. _There was too much…_nothingness _on his features, like a bed without a mattress. The inexplicable notion of something missing; something that should be soft and warm, but instead was hard and frigid.

Kakashi didn't say anything for a very, very long time. Jiraiya was starting to think that the boy hadn't even heard the question. But then he saw someone on the street give the child a dirty look.

Kakashi pretended not to notice, but he did. And with only the slightest movement of his palm, lifted the mask even higher on his face.

Jiraiya's heart sank when he realised that Kakashi was ashamed of being his father's son.

When Sakumo stuck a blade to his heart later that week, the young chunin declared that he, Kakashi, was a failure because he could not follow Rule no. 25: A Shinobi must not show tears.

* * *

As always, it was a team of four: Rin, Kakashi, Gai and Jiraiya. Since Minato had become Hokage, they saw very little of him on the field, and Jiraiya had been called on to lead the other three on a particularly difficult S-Ranked mission.

Jiraiya himself had only just returned to the Hidden Leaf four days ago. He had been travelling, working on his book. He had a particularly interesting idea in mind and he was already thinking up names for the main character. Hmm. Well, he'd probably stick with Naruto. It was random, but it stood out.

Rin sighed loudly, absently plucking grass out of the earth. "What time is it?" she asked.

"About two minutes since you last asked," Jiraiya retorted, rubbing sleep and boredom from his eyes.

"He's half an hour late," Rin declared, as though that was somewhat unclear to everyone else.

"It's not like him," the Toad Sage muttered. "He's always so punctual."

"Not any more," Gai said, not even pausing as he did his push-ups.

Rin gave a sideways look to the Taijutsu specialist. "What's the count?"

Aloud, Gai said, "Hundred-and-three, hundred-and-four, hundred-and-five…"

Jiraiya blinked. "What do you mean 'not any more'?" Kakashi was late…_on a regular basis? Why? _

Rin looked sad for a moment before answering. "He's been a bit…I don't know…different, since Obito died."

"Has he?" Damn it. Jiraiya had missed the entire Kannabi Bridge fiasco because he'd been travelling. This was literally his first mission in seven months. He'd only heard the details of it through Minato, and was yet to see Kakashi's new acquisition. He couldn't really picture the boy with a Sharingan, but then again, he never in his entire life thought Kakashi would be late for anything, so it was fair to say that Jiraiya had a lot of ground to cover with the young Hatake. He was going to make sure they sat down and had a nice, long chat, just the two of them.

"It's not very youthful," Gai complained unhappily. ("Hundred-and-eleven, hundred-and-twelve…")

"That's not true," Rin defended. "He smiles a lot more these days. You can tell even though he wears that mask."

He _SMILES? _When was the last time Jiraiya had seen Kakashi smile?

The silver haired jounin chose that exact moment to saunter towards them. He had the same aloofness, the same coldness about him, but there was something different. Obviously, one of those 'something differents' was the forehead protector that came down over his eye. He had his hands in his pockets, and he looked, if not bored, disinterested. "Sorry I'm late," he said in possibly the most unapologetic monotone Jiraiya had ever heard. He hesitated for a moment, and then said, "I was helping a cat that was stuck on a tree."

Jiraiya gaped at Kakashi. (Why did he always end up feeling so horribly uncertain of how to react when he was around him? What was it about this child that stopped Jiraiya in his tracks?)

Kakashi looked at the Toad Sage. "Hello."

_There it was! _

The definite 'up-ness' of his face. The only remaining pool of charcoal that was his eye closed in what was unmistakably a smile. It seemed to lift Kakashi's entire frame, make him seem taller, livelier than Jiraiya had ever seen him.

Hell. The kid only had _one eye showing _and Jiraiya could still tell that Kakashi had Sakumo's smile.

* * *

His fist was raised to knock the door. Jiraiya always knocked thrice. Only thrice. One, two , three. Then Minato would open the door. They'd go inside, have some sake and dumplings and discuss, among other things, battle strategies, Minato's engagement to Kushina, and the latest _Icha Icha _book (and how Minato was pissed off that Kakashi had gotten so _hooked _to them merely because Jiraiya had given a copy to him on his birthday).

But then his fist fell limply to his side as he heard the sound from behind the door. It wasn't alien to him, but he hadn't heard it in a very long time. Despite not meaning to, Jiraiya heard almost every word.

"Kakashi, calm down, breath, you'll be sick."

_Sobbing. _So much sobbing.

"Minato-sensei." The prodigy's voice was scratchy, like he'd been screaming-screaming-screaming or crying-crying-crying and at this point, Jiraiya couldn't figure out which guess was probably true. "No, no, I want you to…hit me or something, please, please." Pitiful begging. "Call me a murderer. Throw me out of here. _Please._"

"Kakashi, you know very well that I am not about to do any such thing."

"I killed her, sensei. I-I…I didn't mean to, I swear I didn't, she just jumped in front of my Chidori and I couldn't-I couldn't do anything," more sobbing.

"Here, 'Kashi-kun, drink some water."

Silence for a moment. Then, "I'm not thirsty."

"Like hell you aren't. I'm not giving you a choice. Drink."

A few more seconds of silence. Then, in a wetter voice, "I promised Obito I would protect her, sensei. I promised him."

"It isn't your fault. What happened _isn't your fault. _I should have been there. You shouldn't have had to face them alone."

Desperate sobbing. End-of-the-world-I-hate-myself sort of sobbing. Softly, the words, "Sensei…I loved her."

"…I know, Kakashi, I know."

Jiraiya took a few steps away from the door and held his head in his hands. When was Kakashi ever going to stop losing the people he cared about? When was it ever going to end?

His stomach sank as he suddenly remembered Sakumo's body, the tanto still jutting out of it like a sick joke. In a moment of sheer panic, he wondered if Kakashi was going to take a leaf out of his father's book.

In the weeks to come, Jiraiya made it a point to drop in on Kakashi at any time. He would make up stupid excuses, but he just wanted to be sure that the Hatake was still breathing.

* * *

The both of them stood for the longest time before the Fourth's memorial stone. Neither said a word because they couldn't think of anything to say. Flowers adorned both Minato and Kushina's graves. Limp, rain-soaked flowers.

Both Shinobi were drenched completely but they hardly noticed. The rain beat down on them unrelentingly.

Finally, Kakashi asked, "How is their son? Naruto?"

"Right now, he's with Tsunade."

"What are you going to do now?"

Jiraiya shrugged. "The same as I always do."

"You're going to leave," Kakashi deadpanned.

"Yeah. Clear my head for a bit. You?"

"I've been accepted at the ANBU."

"The ANBU? When did you apply?"

"Shortly after Rin..."

"Oh." There was deep sadness in Jiraiya's voice. "Be careful, Kakashi. I don't want to come to your funeral too."

Kakashi glanced at Jiraiya and smiled through his mask, though you could see it through his one eye. "I'll be alright."

After a moment, the older Shinobi said, "Kakashi, someone will need to protect Naruto."

"I know."

"Well?"

"Of course I'll do it. But I'll be with the ANBU most of the time."

Jiraiya waved his hand dismissively. "The Third will be there for him. But there will come a time when you will have to step in. You will have to be there for him, Kakashi."

"I know that too. I'll protect him with my life."

Jiraiya looked at the Hatake for a long minute. Then, he placed a hand on his shoulder. "You won't like me saying this, Kakashi, but Sakumo would be proud of you."

Kakashi was quiet.

Then.

"That's a kind thing for you to say."

* * *

The silver-haired, erotica loving prodigy, Copy Ninja Kakashi of the Sharingan ambled his way over to Jiraiya at a leisurely pace. Slightly overdressed for the hot day, he both stood out and blended in seamlessly. His nose in an orange book, one hand in his pocket, the man who'd seen more grief, who'd felt more loss, in his short life than anyone else Jiraiya knew, was still a mystery to him. He shed personalities like they were just old clothes. A scarecrow watching over the farmland in an endless, lonely daze. He looked almost half asleep, so completely bored with all the _insignificant _cacophony around him that it was actually funny.

"Sorry I'm late," Kakashi greeted cheerfully. "I—"

"Got lost on the road of life?"

He chuckled. "Yeah."

"I don't blame you," Jiraiya joked. "It's a really confusing route."

"Extremely," Kakashi agreed. They stood in a comfortable silence for a few seconds. Anything could have been said. It was one of those moments that could sway either this way or that and change the mood of the sky in a minute. "So, have you started working on the next _Icha Icha?_"

Jiraiya laughed. "Are you going to help me do some research?"

Kakashi seemed to debate it for a moment. "You can try and convince me while paying for lunch." With a cheerful wave, Kakashi walked ahead to Ichiraku's.

Jiraiya stared after him with a small smile forming on his face. Kakashi was definitely like a kaleidoscope. Always blunt, apathetic and cool, but also always wicked and humorous and pleasant. The same colours. Different patterns. All it took was a turn. A turn of events.

He chuckled. Hatake Kakashi really was an enigma.

* * *

**A/N: Not only is this my first Naruto story, but also probably the longest one-shot I've ever written. My favourite character is Kakashi because he's so multi-dimensional. I hope you like it. Let me know if you notice any errors. Thanks for reading. Please review! **


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